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Keep Moving Forward. I AM
Ij, Cj, Nus. God, Family, Friends. "Lord, I choose not to be downcast, I choose not to be disturbed, I choose to put my hope in You." - Psalm 42:11 Listen
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Self-Confidence Friday, December 28, 2007 Pluggin' into: Tears in Heaven by Eric Clapton. OMG. I'm super fat now. Just looked at my most recent photos. Ok. That's it. I'm gonna run tmr. I went out with my IJ gals to Sentosa today. It was really great.. even though there was no sun and we played Bang! and frisbee till evening and only entered water at 7pm.. I thought it was wonderful. It was tranquility at its best. I really loved it. A really good friend of mine sprung me with this question, "Do you think you have self-confidence?" Seriously.. I thought it was a question I couldn't answer. It really made me think quite a bit.. I've been battling since my Secondary School days and through JC. To be honest.. after JC, I never thought I would ever find myself or put myself in a position of authority ever again. In the aspect of leadership, I had totally lost my self-confidence. I think.. partially, that might be my reason for not joining a CCA in university. I guess.. it was to avoid letting anyone down, ever again. Writing it down like so.. man, it sounds cowardly. I guess.. my self-confidence becomes rocky, when it involves other people. When my actions determine the end. It terrifies me that my decisions and behaviour may result in doom for everyone. The problem was.. I let my terror control me. I guess.. now that I'm a bit older and hopefully a bit wiser.. I see that now. I realised that my thinking has changed.. somehow. Maybe it's from experience.. or reflection.. or age.. I dunno. In my church band, a friend complimented me on being a leader. I dunno whether I am a good one.. but it seems that I'm doing something right. I think it's because I took the advice of a really good friend of mine, the very person who asked me this above-mentioned question :) I will always remember the essence of what she said.. That it is precisely a leader who should talk to people and understand them, rather than put himself on a pedestal detached from his peers. Thanks Sylvia.. for teaching me so :) Haha.. another way my self-confidence is shakey.. Quite a few days ago, I was involved in a car accident. I'm ok, no worries. thanks lots :) Please pray for me.. I really need your prayers. Thanks :) Well.. on a lighter note.. Switchfoot booking tickets now on the 31st dec instead. Hope we can get tickets!!! A lot of things have happened since I've last blogged.. Sorry.. I can only ask for your understanding. Thanks.. Merry Christmas :) | |