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Yu Xia Zheng Ye. Tuesday, December 18, 2007 Pluggin' into: Qi Li Xiang by Jay Chou (Whoever has this, please send to me k. I lost it. Thanks.) Oh lord.. help me to get rid of my grudge. Despite all the celebrations.. I've been feeling rather crappy these days. It's got nothing to do with family and relatives - I truly enjoyed time spent together, and I think this is the closest I ever got to them, which really means a lot to me. I've been hard on myself again. I guess now that I'm a bit older, I recognise the symptoms but the feelings still suck. Unconsciously, I have made an action I thought I would never do, which was really the most horrifying. I've been quite a horrid friend lately, backing out last minute on appointments and causing disappointments. I also have a grudge against a friend.. it stinks. My mind tells me to just release the grudge, cos there's no point feeling all that rage against someone who has no clue. Yet.. it's so hard.. I should have just nipped it in the bud. Instead, I let it grow and now it's totally a pain in the ass. Damn. I watched Evans Almighty with my cousins. It talked about how when you pray to God, he does not give it to you straightaway. Instead, he provides you with opportunities to attain what you have asked him. I thought it made a lot of sense. Hence.. I pray for the opportunity to be gracious.. and forgive this grudge.. so that I can sleep with a peaceful mind and a restful heart. I hope I can handle it. | |